Thursday, November 21, 2013

Engineers aren't cyborgs... We have feelings and no superpowers

As I wrote before, I'm an Engineer. A Mechanical Engineer, to be more specific. So, I'm qualified to call shenanigans if my beloved author Kristan Higgins writes such a nonsense about Tom Barlow: the hottie Brit with the killer smile and the same degree as I have; the hero in her last book:

Indeed KH gave us a hero to die for.  
Awesome inside and outside ;)

But she wrote also...
"IF TOM HAD thought he was cold before he went in the pond, that had been a fucking walk on a tropical beach, hadn’t it? Stupid, stupid Honor, going out on ice after the idiot dog (Spike aka Ratty). If it hadn’t held a five-pound dog, how the hell was it going to hold a full-grown woman?
He could feel a slight current in the water, pulling at his clothes, and did a quick calculation in the water—weight, velocity, depth, momentum, resistance—and sloshed over to where he thought the idiot animal might be.
Chances were small to nil, let’s be honest."


Are You serious? Because if Tom could do it, now I know why he's so perfect... 
Tom is a cyborg! 

Wait a moment! Don't go! I'm not going to explain the principles of hydrodynamics. I want to say only one little thing. That is, if you need to estimate the position of a point (Ratty) in a moving fluid you have to use:
  • complicated equations, with more than + - x / ;
  • tables or an engineer manual;
  • measurement instruments (At least a basic Pitot tube), because the human eye can't see the local velocity at a given point in the flow stream;
That's a Pitot Tube under an aircraft wing (Airplanes don't have penises!)
  • Pencil and paper;
  • AND TIME! (I'm speaking about lots of minutes, not a heartbeat ;P)

 Obviously Tom didn't get none of the above! 
 I admit that this kind of poor works (Total lack of research) frustrated me beyond measure. 
I know I'm the needle in the haystack in this situation. The other KH's gang members might complain about lack of kisses (Tom is a good kisser. No one ever gets tired of good kisses ;P) rather than about inaccuracy, right? 
But I think that her editor or one of her proof readers should have checked out those things. Knickers! They're there for that reason. 
Cheerio and God Save the Queen.


1 comment:

  1. Hahaha, first of all, I love Tom Hardy, so thank you. Second, I just love your writing!